This darkness so obviously depressing, surrounding me and so full of nightmares that will not let me wake. At this point … Where am I? What do I do? Why?
I feel tired, not only to mourn but to fight the demons that live inside me. I turn my eyes to the horizon and every time I see it farther though I try to move forward. Why my mind is torturing itself over and over, night after night?
Night falls and here I am again, as yesterday, as today, and I’m sure as tomorrow. Light goes out and looked up, seeking hope in a room full of sadness. Try again? Why not? After all, I think I like the pain.
Time passes in front of me and it’s just that: time. Something as nonexistent but real at the same time, and I seem not to understand and decide to watch while my tears decide to give me the warmest and painful hug to think that lets me know I’m still alive … and, unfortunately, I can feel. Why all becomes so difficult?
Moving on is not easy, or maybe it is, but to get up when it the fall was so hard makes it so complicated. How can you be so good and I do not? Do you like to hurt me?
I have a torn heart, a lump in the throat, cheeks full of roads that tears have left, countless hours without sleep and no one beside me to know that this loneliness consumed me into a depression that seem eternal. A depression that appears to force me to kneel before her, put my head down, and tell her that I will always remember her forever…